When frustration arises

I’ve always said I could never home-school my kids and yet, like many other people right now, coronavirus is confronting me with my most strongly-held beliefs. We’re being shaken awake from the confusion of who we think we are and how we think life should be. Here’s what I noticed when frustration arose this past week…

Friday: school closes. The kids are tumbling in a whirlpool of excitement and fear. Confused by the strength and mix of emotions.

Weekend: standard. Just a bit more at home than usual. Quite nice not running around to sports clubs.

Monday: high hopes. School have set up their work online. I have my normal work schedule of clients and desk work (thankfully my work with clients had already moved online before all this!). We can all work happily, we each have a separate workspace, we can come together for breaks and lunch. We took up an idea we’d seen online to choose our snacks for the day to avoid too much grazing.  read more

What are you resisting?

We get lost in ideas that we fix as facts and truths. Resisting reality. It’s uncomfortable — thankfully — because then we have a chance to see through the illusion.

River flowing towards you, white water rushing over stones, green trees lining the banks.
Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash

What are you fixing as true, definite or absolute?

Is it the ‘fact’ that person’s really annoying? Is it the ‘fact’ you’re no good at X, Y or Z? Is it the ‘fact’ that nobody ever gets work done to the standards you think they should? read more

What if you knew that…

You’re ok.

Early morning sun shining through the trees next to a lake with ducks on it.
Image by Bianca Mentil from Pixabay

You always have been.

Just increasingly hidden by clouds of conditioning as you’ve aged.

To the point where now the conditioning no longer makes sense.

The rules have begun to conflict too often.

The experience isn’t matching the dream that was sold.

The responsibilities to be juggled seem increasingly likely to drop. read more

Lightening the load of leadership

Leadership development: an industry worth over $3.4bn. Are we seeing the results of that? I don’t think so and here’s why.

Do you remember the days when Head & Shoulders was one shampoo?

Old fashioned bottle of head & shoulders shampoo

I was online shopping last night and was struck by the fact that in one shop there was a choice of 32 different variations of this once lonely bottle. 32!

OaaaKaaaay, and what’s that got to do with leadership development?

Volume!

Not hair volume. Volume of content, information, concepts, theories, models, ideas. Your personality alone can be tested by hundreds of different tools to tell you which animal, colour or collection of letters you apparently are. read more

Conformity: the ultimate self harm

In conforming and being ‘good’, we’ve ignored our heart. We’ve created the perfect conditions for collective suffering. And for waking up.

The mind says ‘do the right thing’ because then you’ll be mended, you’ll have crossed the finish line of acceptable and ‘good enough’. And we’ll have order. Without being good – certain anarchy! Chaos!

Or so it says.

But it doesn’t know the deep wisdom behind it.

The deep wisdom of the heart which does the ‘right thing’; naturally inevitably. The perfect ‘right thing’ for you. No reference to right and wrong, no consideration for ‘will this get me the kudos?’. Just doing, from love, which includes strong words, and includes powerful action. This is not about fluff. All in alignment with a deeper reality behind the scenes. read more

What you most resist is what shows up

Sounds annoying doesn’t it! But really it’s the best design in the world.

Have you ever been that driver who drives right up close to someone on the road because they’re going sooooo slowly?

Done, obviously, in the hope of making them go faster.

Have you ever then seen that person in front slow. right. down?

Winding you up even more!

Until you stop and see that what you’re doing is actually making the situation appear in this way. The solid-ness of the story ‘I need to go faster’ and ‘annoying slow driver’ has loosened. Space and lightness. Ease and clarity have returned. You hang back and then they’re off. Possibly even driving faster than before! read more