Why Changing, Fixing or Stopping Your Thinking Isn’t the Answer

woman on flamingo pool floatation

I used to think feelings and emotions were all secondary to thinking. And that once you sorted your thinking out, all the rest of it would be sorted. That’s not been my experience. Has it been yours?

You know the old iceberg model of human experience — thoughts lead to feelings, lead to actions & behaviours, lead to results and outcomes.

Well, yes…and…

That’s great when there’s something simple, mindset-related that just needs a tweak of a thought. It just needs the busting of a myth. Just needs the dissolution of an idea…then feelings change…behaviour changes…results and outcomes change.

But after working at that level for a good while, I came to see that wasn’t the full answer.

Because having been in that normal development paradigm where I was working really hard to have the ‘right’ kind of ‘positive’ thoughts, I moved into one that had me see no thoughts are true. Literally no thought — not one single one — is 100% definitely, totally, everyone-agrees, true.

Wow! This brought another level of lightness. I didn’t need to manage or control thoughts to get the right feelings, because no thought is true. Therefore none of them need to be managed, controlled, or changed.


Then it went a level deeper. I started seeing that the ‘me’ who was supposedly ‘doing the thinking’ wasn’t even true. Thinking was happening. And I was aware of them. I can observe thoughts. I experience them appearing and disappearing. But there’s no sign of someone responsible for thoughts and thinking. No one making thoughts happen, or stopping them, or getting rid of them.

More lightness!

And, in the increased light and space, I started to see more clearly what that whole thinking system had tried to keep me from.

There were emotions hiding behind the thought system. Emotions that looked unacceptable. It was as though the thoughts had been creating a song and dance on the surface to distract me from looking. La la la…look over here…dancing thoughts…tr la la…don’t look at the bad stuff…tree lee lee!

But now the thoughts couldn’t distract me, or compel me, like they used to. And so now I could look. Now I could experience. The genie was out of the bottle. The thought system could no longer hold back the (seemingly) terrifying, abhorrent, intolerable emotional experiences that it had been working so hard to keep me avoiding all these years.

Now they could be felt. Wrong. Rejected. Useless. Failure. Disappointment. Shame.

These emotions had been hidden behind a barricade of thoughts, ideas and beliefs. The mind protecting me from going near these (again, seemingly) terrifying emotions.

But when I met them — OK, they might not be as fun as joy or delight — but they’re not actually scary. They’re not actually a problem. They’re not actually dangerous. I can feel them. You cal feel them. We can handle them. We can experience them, and be OK.

And this, for me, is emotional enlightenment. Because now emotions get to be included (as they already always were, really) and they get to move and flow (as all things already naturally do, really) and so we come into alignment with how life is. As it already, naturally already is. And that always feels so much better, so much lighter — enlightening! And so much easier.

Do you recognise where you are on this journey?

Have you skipped some steps?

Do you want to just go straight to the emotions?

What’s your next move?

Much love, Helen

P.S. Would you like to meet your emotions so that you get a lighter, easier experience?

I’m hosting a month of Emotional Enlightenment in April.

All the info’s in here. We have 3 payment options to suit all budgets. And you get tools and approaches to take back into your life to use whenever and however you want to.

If you want to hear more about Why Emotional Enlightenment, and to meet me ‘in person’ I created this video about why this matters and why it makes a difference.

The doors open for booking on the 28th but check out all the info in the meantime, and subscribe to my newsletter for reminders.

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