There Is No Freedom in People Pleasing

I’ve had an old mind-story rear its head again over the last few weeks, and it’s been fascinating to watch the unfolding of the experience and the realisations along the way. Have a read to see what resonates for you, and what might be enlightening for you in this.

Insight received. Move on? Not quite yet…

So was that the end of it?

So what now?

And what about you?

Where’s the freedom with all this?

2 Comments. Leave new

  • Paul Whittering
    15 March 2022 11:36 am

    It’s quite striking Helen – you’re ability to express your own misgivings. And I think that quality marks out a good teacher whatever the field but perhaps especially with spiritual work. Because any denial of such misgivings on the part of a teacher points towards not just a separation between themselves and their students, but an apparent need in them to be in some way superior. And that looks to me like an ego position.

    Another strength that derives from your self enquiry is that by making that enquiry and sharing your observations, it helps us to do the same.

    Self doubt is a universal and archetypical trope that all humans are subject to – even someone like Donald Trump. Perhaps especially with someone like him. But instead of yielding to that vulnerable aspect, an elaborate construction is created to deny it. This is the world of the ‘Marks’ – my dad, your ex, my neighbour.

    Rupert Spira has talked most honestly about the trap of falling prey to his student’s adulation, and starting to believe and invest in this idea that people have of him. This is common amongst revered spiritual teachers and for me, renders their work problematic if not useless, so we have to be vigilant.

    Another aspect, and one especially visible with something like self doubt – which, can form a kind of environment. Like how the fish doesn’t know it exists in water perhaps, that environment effaces itself, and it feels like our actions and interactions (where feelings of self-doubt are strong) arise from those situations. What isn’t seen is that environment or attitude of self doubt gets projected onto the content of life. When this is seen, and we can be with the suffering, loving awareness melting it so to speak, the environment changes, and so to our experience of life.

    You are on your journey and this stuff helps you, but by bringing us along for the ride, it helps us too. Especially the bumpy bits, because the bumps appear to be where most of the learning happens.


    • Helen Amery
      16 March 2022 2:14 pm

      Thanks so much for sharing your feedback Paul, I really appreciate. And love what you’re saying about the shift when we get honest are realise the problems that are our own projected creation.


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