The phrase ‘speaking your truth’ has always felt off to me for some reason. Now I’m clear about why that was, and what is available.
“When you speak your truth, you are the universe speaking through a human body. The universe within others, recognises this language.” Jey Matthews
I’ve had a bit of a problem with the phrase ‘speak your truth’ in the past because it sounded like there was a truth which is mine and which will always be mine and will always be the same because ‘this is who I am and this is what I believe to be the truth’. A bit like how values can be clung to like lifelines of how to behave — actually just creating a new limit for you to suffer within as a false, imagined boundary is set up against everything else.
But something fresh has become available to me with this in recent months. See what resonates for you.
What if truth here has a very definite ‘little t’
What if capital T truth is unchanging — literally unaffected by anything in this world of form. Absolutely still and peaceful and OK — un-harmable, un-touchable, un-diminishable. Silence.
“Remember one thing: except for silence, everything else is imagination.” Osho
And then what if this phrase ‘speak your truth’ has always been pointing to little t truth.
“Truth is the only thing that is actually stable, even if it changes.” Teal Swan
From that place, speaking your truth means expressing whatever looks real in the moment. Irrespective of what it is. Absent of ideas of how this makes me look, or how others will feel, or what it means for me. Pure expression.
Knowing that — although that’s the little t truth in that moment — it in fact has no longevity and no meaning beyond the expression of it: In. That. Moment.
Thought changes…experience changes…truth changes.
So then, in the expression of that truth, it creates space for new thoughts to appear — new temporary truths — and so they form the next little t truth in that next moment. And then the next. And the next.
It’s our belief that our words mean something important, fundamental and lasting that we get confused about just saying them. And fearful of the impact.
In fact, the impact of our words on another…well, we’ll never know that, not really. But impact for us…when we know that every experience is either in alignment with what we are and feels good, or out of alignment with what we are and feels bad.
This feedback becomes our guidance system back into alignment and back into capital T truth. Which then has us be all the clearer when the next little t truth moment appears.
Let me give an example
Last year there was a situation with one of our kids and I disagreed with how my husband was handling it. I think my words were something like ‘but you’re being so controlling and judgemental and that’s never going to get the best’.
His reply — ‘And what are you being with me right now?’
Me — stumped.
And then…some space, and time with my coach and the recognition that yes — in the presence of ideas of ‘I need to control what husband is doing’ because of the judgement ‘he’s doing it wrong’ — out came controlling and judgemental words from my mouth.
My little t truth in that moment — totally out of alignment with what I really am (hence why it felt bad) — and totally amazing for enabling the conversation that led to the liberating insight that ‘oh yes! It was me too!’ And to see that ‘husband’ only appears as ‘bad judgemental person who must be controlled’ when I have ‘judgemental, controlling’ thought-glasses on.
And then, what’s interesting is what becomes available after that.
Because the mind thinks that ‘without my rules and judgements it will all go wrong and there’ll be chaos everywhere!’.
But in fact, when you see for yourself that it’s the holding of these temporary ideas as if they’re capital T Truths that causes suffering — the intelligence that you are just stops holding them as capital T Truths. It makes no sense any more.
And so then — when you speak — it’s through a clear channel. Absent of false boundaries and barriers. Absent of false defences constructed of little t truths — desperately trying to hold the force of life back with their flimsy-ness.
So that now when you speak your truth it’s life speaking to life. Love speaking to love. The universe speaking to the universe. Still temporary, still only little t truth for this moment now. But now it gets heard. Because it’s strong and quiet. It’s effortless. It’s obvious. And action gets taken. In alignment. With Truth.
By noticing all the places where you keep quiet because you think it will cause problems if you speak up.
Or indeed where you speak up, and that doing so really does seem to cause problems.
Then see if you can identify what’s being believed in that moment — and see it’s not a captial T Truth.
With love, Helen
Speaking Up Authentically — this is our topic for exploration this Friday, 12 November at 12.30pm UK. Join as a member on any tier to be part of the conversation and to get the recording afterwards. We want your authentic voice in the world.
I coach and guide smart, passionate, curious people who care about improving the lives of those around them. Often coaches and leaders, they’ve worked hard all their lives to be the ‘best’ them and it doesn’t seem to have delivered the happiness, security or freedom they expected. Now they’re wondering what else is available. I guide you back, prior to stories, to remember the real you because that’s what you, me and the whole world really wants! Find out more here.