There are tiny moments throughout your day that are already showing you how beautifully your psychological system works. The more you know this, and notice them, the more you realise you can ease-off on the thinking effort.
“When we’re not caught up in thought we settle down and come to our senses with presence and clarity.” Ken Manning
Sometimes when we think ‘transformative’ we think jazz hands, dramatic, huge insights. And that’s totally available. But sometimes it’s the opposite.
Sometimes it’s the little things that make the big difference. Sometimes it’s the seemingly inconsequential that create the biggest shifts, because the deeper we’re looking into how we work, the bigger the difference that’s experienced on the surface. A small nudge creates a big ripple.
In the conversation we have here we’re always looking to the principles of how the system already works beautifully, and one of those is the natural way psychological settling down happens, breaks in thought-clouds happen, and we get clarity and answers.
Here are some examples
I know you can spot similar things in your own life. These little moments that usually go unnoticed can make a big difference when brought into the light.
Last week — first day back at school, and we’re rushing to get out the door. One child’s lost their mask, the other their wallet. Parents hunting while children get the last of their things together. Nope. Can’t find them. Here’s a spare mask, and you’ll just have to not have anything from the tuck shop today.
Get in the car, 2 seconds down the road and I started to think about where we’d seen both items last…mask…you had that on Saturday for drama class…Oh yes! It’s in my drama bag! Great! Wallet…you had that at Sherwood Pines in your rucksack but you didn’t want to take it…oh! Dad’s car! In the pocket behind the seat. Yep.
From a settled mind. Clarity.
No effort required to settle the mind. No effort required to bring the questions of where they’d been seen last. It just happens, it’s what always happens, and all the more easily when we take our foot off the gas of trying to find / solve / fix.
And for a client — coming to the session wondering if their noticing was ‘good enough’ for the conversation (such a common experience, we’ve been trained for it, and me too when I first began this). Revved-up thinking about whether their examples were relevant / helpful / on track. Have I got it right? Have I given it enough thought?
Then in the act of clicking the link to join the call, the revved-up thinking dropped, more examples came to mind, and the call unfolded beautifully, rolling from one thing to the next.
The small act of clicking the link was enough for attention to move away from the revved up thinking — to create a break in the clouds — and for something fresh to appear.
These little things — they’re transformational — when you realise how beautifully they’re pointing you to the natural way you already work. You soon align with it and rediscover an ease of experience that had simply been forgotten.
With love, Helen
P.S.The quote at the top comes from this brilliant wisdom-full TED Talk by Ken, watch it here. (Just 20 mins long)
P.P.S. If you’d like to join a conversation on this topic, we’re exploring it on Thursday 17th June 7.30pm UK | 2.30pm ET | 11.30am PT. Go here to read more and book.
I coach and guide smart, passionate, curious people who care about improving the lives of those around them. Often coaches and leaders, they’ve worked hard all their lives to be the ‘best’ them and it doesn’t seem to have delivered the happiness, security or freedom they expected. Now they’re wondering what else is available. I guide you back, prior to stories, to remember the real you because that’s what you, me and the whole world really wants! Find out more here.