How will you cope…and other lies we tell each other

Ocean crashing onto rocks and quote "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional"

With the UK having entered its second national lockdown (albeit a lighter one than first time round) I’ve noticed the theme of headlines – how to survive, how will you cope, how to get through… Presupposing that it’s terrible – definitely terrible – and that you’ll have to “cope”. There’s a knowing in us that we’re not just designed to “scrape by” so what else is available?

It’s rather appropriate that I couldn’t find a definite person to attribute the quote for this post to: nothing (no-thing) in life is actually definite so even if it was attributed to one person, how do we know, and does it matter? All our lives we’ve accepted things we’ve read, heard, seen, felt as truths – when they never have been. (If you’re refuting this claim right now, notice how you’ve just accepted an opposing idea as a truth. Real truth, perfectly formed for this moment now, has no opposite, no opposition.)

When we’ve been taught to take input from outside as our primary source of learning and navigation it makes sense that we’ve followed this behaviour pattern. And now it’s time to wake up to what you know for yourself, within your own experience.

The more we see this, the more we live in connection with what’s actually happening, rather than in imagination.

So today I invite you to notice what’s around you, what you’re hearing and reading and get curious. What is actually true? 100% gospel true? Unrefutably true?

Notice the messages telling you “how you’re feeling”, telling you that you must be stressed or fed up by the second lockdown here in the UK, or maybe how you should feel about the US election (not everyone’s actually happy with the outcome and will be bristling at the celebrations).

Notice people telling you how your children must be suffering from having to be at school during this “strange time” or from having to wear a mask. Telling you to start getting concerned about winter coming especially if you or people you know have mental health concerns or are elderly.

Consider that what you’re hearing or reading isn’t truth – including this newsletter! Check out for yourself what’s actually happening in your own experience. It is literally all we’ve got. The more we believe and take on our own and others’ stories as fixed, definite truths, the more confused and disconnected from experience we become, and this is when we suffer.

Suffering isn’t caused by the outside world, Covid and lockdowns and any other “thing” don’t “make” you feel stressed or disconnected or despondent. The sole cause of suffering is ideas taken as truths. No thought, no belief, no idea is a 100% fixed truth. Ever.

Clients this week have talked of their own examples of this. How their kids are fine, happy even, with wearing masks in lessons – their daughter has been sewing her own and is proud to wear her creations. While the son is just following what’s been asked – no issues.

How the volume of emails isn’t the cause of pressure or stress because the same number of emails looks terrible one week and absolutely fine the next.

Another client noticed how, as more “official labels” have been applied to her personal situation, the worse she’s felt – even though the situation hasn’t materially changed.

As we notice this we wake up to see that we’ve been living – or suffering – via thought about the situation rather than experiencing the situation for what it is. The more this innocent correlation of ideas to a situation is noticed – just noticed, not efforted to change – the more the experience naturally changes by itself. 

Does this mean you skip through life with no challenges? No. Like the quote says, pain is inevitable. It’s part of the human spectrum of experience – AND when we live in connection with this experience, as it is, right now, rather than in the suffering of ideas taken as truths, we find ourselves fully resourced to respond to this moment now, with a perfectly formed truth – perfect only for this moment now – no opposition in sight.

With love, Helen

If you’d like to hear from someone who lives guided by his own personal experience, not gleaned from books, listen to this rich and insightful conversation between Michael Neill and Nic Askew. What they’re saying, what I say… we’re all pointing to the same irrefutable truths behind all human experience. The only place where we find the unconditional love, acceptance and peace we’re looking for.

I work with people who want a quieter mind and a more fulfilling life. They’re smart, passionate people who are curious about there being a better way. They’ve worked hard to get to here and yet something’s still missing: ‘is this it?’. In our work we explore and reconnect you to innate brilliance so you rediscover the real happiness, real security and real balance that you are. Find out more here.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill out this field
Fill out this field
Please enter a valid email address.
You need to agree with the terms to proceed