What You Really Want

Last week I wrote to my newsletter crew about the dark night of the soul. The stage of awakening and enlightening that I love supporting and so I loved that it landed with such a ‘yes’ for so many. It’s that phase when “it feels worse than ever before, because you are now conscious of it, yet can’t escape, and you can’t hide or run away.” (Nicky Clinch). It’s when life gives you no choice but to see the seeming s*^t — absent of nail varnish. Then…it went to the next level.

Earlier this week, I was sharing a voice memo with one of the Level 4 community members, about what you really want, and these words came out of my mouth, describing the natural order of feeling good that we REALLY want:

⭐ You want to feel good.
⭐ You want to feel good about being [insert name].
⭐ You want to feel good about being [insert name] in the world.


I love these moments when words pour through and then my human self hears them and is astonished, and says wow! Yes!! That!!

Because these words describe the natural order that you’re really craving.

This same community member then shared an awesome visual image that describes our first attempts to feel good, and the ‘failure’ points that turn us around and point us back to this natural order. Scroll down to see the fab image. And read these words for a fuller description of the journey:

1. External (fixing) focus. You’ve tried, and been taught to try, to feel good about being [name] in the external world. Doing what you think you should, what you think will make you happy. And that fails.

It appears some s*^t has been collected through this experience and that needs sorting out. So you try a few different jobs / bosses / team members / partners / houses / income levels. (First layers of nail varnish.) ….it still fails.

2. Internal (fixing) focus. So you decide [name] is the problem (some more s^*t), and you start to try and fix and improve on [name] by doing a bunch of self development (i.e. applying more nail varnish). You’re certain you can then feel good about him/her/them…But that fails.

3. Fu&%ed. In this ‘failure’, now the nail varnish has cracked and you’re looking at the first opening to see the s*^t that lies beneath it.

This provides a perfect portal to go deeper still, and look in the one place you haven’t yet looked for feeling good — the most essential, fundamental aspect of who we are. The diamond. Awareness.

And in recognition of this, you awaken.

 A. Now you feel fundamentally good — and you’ve found the true source of that! Yourself! Who you really are. (Let’s switch metaphor at this point, and call this the discovery of a delicious soft, spongy cake.) You realise that in this essential good-feeling you can feel OK with all thoughts and feelings.

Now, with that grounded, solid foundation of your awakened good-feeling self (the cake!), you can remember that [name] is who you came here to be. A unique expression of who we are. Now you can really see the s*^t. This is that Phase 3 — dark night of the soul. There’s nowhere to run or hide. You are asked to look at it, include it, love it, so that all the previously rejected s^*t becomes a gift in your process of integration and transformation.

You are increasingly enlightening the experience of being [name].

Then, there comes a point when improving [name] becomes an enjoyable activity. Remembering what [name] enjoys and what he/she/they needs is an obvious thing to spend time on. You are genuinely caring for your human self.

⭐ B. Now you feel good and enjoy being [name]. There is now sumptuous, silky icing on that delicious soft, spongy cake. And you’re enjoying life even more!

And with that return to the love of being [name], you can see more clearly what you’re here to do in the world as [name]. Which could of course be anything. What you do is uniquely yours, whatever form that takes. What matters is that — because it’s what you’re uniquely here to do, and because you already feel good about being [name], and because that’s been layered on top of knowing you are the inherent, innate good feelings of ourself — *now* the good feelings of what you do in the world, are simply an expression of all the good feelings that have come before.

You are increasingly self-actualising.

⭐ C. Now you feel good and enjoy being [name] in the world. This is the cherry on top of the already-delicious soft, spongy cake and the sumptuous, silky icing.

Now your experience has returned to the natural order you’ve been craving.

Now you feel good. Genuinely good.

And the world reflects that back.

And this is all you — and everyone — ever wants.

Do you agree?

With peace, love and joy; Helen

What has this piqued in you?

What has this illuminated more clearly about where you are now?

Which level of good feelings are the focus for you next?

Do you know where to go for that?

I can help. I love to personally guide you when I’m the person for you. I love to point you to the right place if I’m not. So let’s have a call.

Is this resonating for you? Book your call here.

And here’s that awesome image…Thank you dear community member.

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