When you think you’re right, you never are

How taking a position on something, standing in our right-ness, immediately takes us out of connection with what’s going on. The truth of limitless possibilities falsely narrowed down to one — this one. Have a read and see what you see…

Yesterday my kid’s school year were told they’re the worst year this teacher has ever had.

Every individual in the room was painted the same colour with the teacher’s brush. One homogenous lump. Solid like ice.

But fixed homogeneity can never be true. My child feels that. It shows up as anger, upset, dissonance, confusion. A knowing within that ‘bad’ is not who he innately is — none of us are — and yet this person in authority who’s apparently meant to know more or better is saying it. The solid ice of the teacher’s words tumbling about in the water of reality, out of place. 

For some kids they might have already stopped listening to such messages, dulled their senses to it, an obvious self preservation mechanism if what the teachers or others say seem to lead to yukky thoughts and feelings about me. No thanks! Protective layer of thought created. They immediately becoming their own ice block against which the teacher’s ice can bounce.

The words by the teacher said amidst their own confusion. Believing thoughts of a definite, solid future disaster if these kids don’t buck their ideas up. Danger for them, for me, for the school. Believing that I’m the grown up, I know, I’m right. More ice.

Within that definiteness and inevitable fear, the only obvious response becomes to react, to try and solve the problem as efficiently as possible – get them all in the same room and tell them all the same message. Tick. Job done. The illusion of control regained for another moment. Apparent certainty over the future restored. Until the world pops up again. 

And none of it true. No control, no certainty over the future. Message not heard by anyone: not heard by those who might be struggling, acting out and who need love not a whip. Message not heard by those who think they’re not included but are. Message not heard by those who think they’re perfect and sit in judgement of the ‘bad’ ones. Message not heard by those who’ve heard it a million times and have put their sensory barrier up. Message heard and not needed to be by those who really want to do the right thing and are never quite sure it’s enough.

And so the game will continue.

Until. Something new is seen about the nature of our experience. 

How the creation of a fixed idea of future danger is the exact thing that creates a mental and physical constriction, and immediately fear and a whole year group of terrible kids. Fixed in place. One absolutely definite reality. Unchanging. All wrong. And from within that limit of ‘definitely this’ there is apparently only one definite response or reaction that’s needed to fix it. 

But the moment the definiteness is seen as untrue – impossible to be true – the inner world slows down, the ice melts and changes shape, the definiteness loosens, the nuance and detail of this moment now appears. Different possibilities and ways forward open up. Different, less homogenous, wiser action is taken. Now flavoured with compassion and understanding not fear. 

The world still not controlled or certain but the desperate need for that has disappeared. In returning from imagination and fear to here, this moment, the thought-created future has gone. Nothing but now. The limitless possibilities have come into view. The whole river available to us again.

And the more we see that this is the way of things, the more we flow in alignment with this apparent reality with ease and grace. Navigating with clarity. Including seeing more and more quickly the moments when imagined ice blocks return & the sense of constricted, limited definiteness appears. Perfect for us to dissolve another cube and return to the flow.

So what about for you?

Where is this showing up in your experience?

Who do you think is definitely this or definitely that?

An individual or a group. 

Wherever you think it’s true, it’s not. Stay curious to that and see your experience of life shift.

With love, Helen 

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