Deep down we hear an echo of who we really are. It’s not the one we’ve been pretending to be and its not the one we’re afraid we are. Until we start the journey back to who we really are we will continue to suffer.
I’d been thinking that same day about this very topic. It was something that came up on my Team Coaching course last year where we agreed that this supposedly soft stuff is really the hard stuff.
I have a hypothesis that, eons ago at the beginning of business time, men realised this stuff was hard – because it requires you to accept feedback, to be introspective and vulnerable, to look into yourself, accept your imperfections and still like yourself, and to embrace the real-world truth that you have opportunities to develop. Whether so confident that they really believed themselves perfect, or so enshrined in imposter syndrome that they feared being found out, these business “leaders” put the people stuff in a box over there.
On that box was written “difficult emotional stuff – denigrate at every opportunity”. At that time of course business was a man’s world. It was very easy for the important, high-earning men to demean this people stuff, point and laugh at it, ridicule it for being soft, pink and fluffy, women’s stuff and all the men would nod and agree and quaff their whiskey. They agreed this stuff was nothing to do with the hard-nosed business world where we command whole armies of people to do our bidding.
And so the story was told and repeated through the generations until today it’s still believed by the majority of business leaders. Ignore the emotions. Focus on the numbers and the product pathway and the sales funnel and the marketing content – these things which give a lovely illusion of being in control. The things that don’t have emotions, the things that can’t give us feedback or highlight our imperfections. But things which of course need people to make them happen – and so, although filtered through a printed document or a new product line, these are things which carry the indelible hallmarks of those human beings who created them: their emotions, their thoughts – with their work done in a way that reflects how they feel about you as a leader. Great leader – I give my all and then some. Not so great – I do the basics, I don’t offer extras, I get by.
And this then made me think of A Bugs Life. When those little ants realised that the story they’d been told all their lives by the grasshoppers – that they were weak, puny and unimportant – was not true and they realised their collective power – there was no stopping them. The grasshoppers didn’t stand a chance!
One day I believe there’ll be enough people who realise they’ve been spun a yarn. They’ll be talking together and recognising that this supposedly soft stuff is really the hard stuff. They’ll realise that together they outnumber the grasshoppers and they’ll transform the face of business forever. I’m looking forward to that day.
Join in! Be more ant!
P.S. The conversation’s already started.
[Photo credit : https://www.flickr.com/photos/lorenjavier/3620960103]