Living in the State of a Spa Day

Michael Neill and Dicken Bettinger often talk about Living in the State of Meditation. Well this week I realised the equivalent is living in the State of a Spa Day.

My friend Nicky and I went to our gorgeous local spa for the day this week. It’s my favourite one (of all the five I’ve been to in my life!) with loads of water-based and steam room options.

It’s the second time I’ve been to this spa post-pandemic and I’ve noticed the same phenomenon both times — I don’t feel much different when I leave.

Now, that might sound terrible, but really it’s great. Because it’s a reflection of the fact that I live in the ‘state of a spa day’ every day now.

Let me back track

In the past, I was always busy. First busy in a corporate job, then busy with two kids added in, then a move to self employment — and I was still busy.

Really truly, I had a busy mind. So the busy world on the outside was always going to follow me around until I saw that.

At this time, a visit to the spa for a day meant lots of snoozing on comfy chairs. A noticeable shift in pace of movement between arrival and leaving. And resulted in ending the day feeling quite spacey like ‘will I be safe to drive’ spacey.

My system was desperate for rest and I would give it this drop and then head back into the normal busy-ness.

This made sense. Because hidden behind the external busy-ness was a deeply-masked story of ‘there’s something wrong with you’ and the logical next thought of ‘you’d best keep doing stuff till you can change that and make yourself good’.

It’s taken me years to see that specific flavour of narrative. And there was something powerful in seeing the flavour, beyond the standard ‘not good enough’ that is usually recognised.

But I’ll get to that.

For now, let’s go back to the time when life was just always busy and how I arrived at my now-experience of living in the ‘spa day state’.

First, from that always-busy place, I had my initial awakening into the blissful spa-like feelings of our nature. I saw that the world I experienced was a creation from the inside. And I saw that life was not inherently busy. The feeling of busy came from an inner state of busy.


The knowing of the spa-state of ourself was etched deeply in my system. And there was the first dropping away of the narrative about needing to do, and then do more in order to be OK.

Then I came to understand, more deeply, the intricately woven fabric of thoughts that maintained this busy experience. The belief that there was a ‘me’ being maintained, improved, or protected by this activity — only to discover that nothing was being protected, but other thoughts. And the outcome of it all was just tiredness, stress and frustration.


Another dropping of the busy-ness. And a new recognition that the volume of stuff being done didn’t even need to reduce for the busy experience to go.

So then I looked more closely at the ‘me’ thought. This one that was being maintained, improved or protected. What does this word refer to? What is there when I look for what is behind that label ‘me’? Who am I really?

And what did I find? Nothing. No-thing.


Peace. Quiet. Grinning.

But there was still a sense of an entity ‘me’ sometimes. Things could still be taken personally. It continued to look like this Helen was wrong. Self doubt continued to clank through the system. And it hurt.

So I worked before the mind, at the level of energy. Receiving transmissions of light energy. Yes, it still sounds nuts that I did this. ‘This isn’t what Helen does! This is magical nonsense. Helen works on science and facts and rational choices.’ And yet apparently not, as Helen received (and now even offers!) energy transmissions.

And the contraction of the feeling of a personal self stopped. The clench of the stomach that I hadn’t even noticed, having been there so long, was gone.


And the ‘state of a spa day’ became primary.

Living in the ‘state of a spa day’ became the norm.

This opened up space for deeper fears to be seen. That might sound terrible but in the absence of personalisation it’s not a problem.

Coming to the surface to be understood. With the play of life perfectly orchestrated so the process of the story’s revelation hung together seamlessly.

And that deepest fear was seen: ‘there’s something wrong with you’ and the logical next thought of ‘you’d best keep doing stuff till you can change that and make yourself good’.


And as always, contrary to the mind’s idea that looking at these fears will cause the end of life as we know it, the looking and seeing and feeling of this fear has been the inclusion of it.

And the deeper feeling of ease and relaxation which is myself has become even more present.

The ‘state of a spa day’ feeling even more available.

And so, visiting the spa for the day doesn’t have the effect it used to have.

Visiting the spa now means I don’t feel much different when I leave.

Because I don’t have so far to fall into myself.

Because I am, knowingly, myself.

So I’m living in the state of a spa day. Every day.

I’m living in the feeling of ease and relaxation.

And visiting a spa for the day with a friend is still lovely!

With love, Helen

Would you like this too? Let’s meet.

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