Conformity: the ultimate self harm

In conforming and being ‘good’, we’ve ignored our heart. We’ve created the perfect conditions for collective suffering. And for waking up.

The mind says ‘do the right thing’ because then you’ll be mended, you’ll have crossed the finish line of acceptable and ‘good enough’. And we’ll have order. Without being good – certain anarchy! Chaos!

Or so it says.

But it doesn’t know the deep wisdom behind it.

The deep wisdom of the heart which does the ‘right thing’; naturally inevitably. The perfect ‘right thing’ for you. No reference to right and wrong, no consideration for ‘will this get me the kudos?’. Just doing, from love, which includes strong words, and includes powerful action. This is not about fluff. All in alignment with a deeper reality behind the scenes. read more

Don’t reject the ego

In attempts to become enlightened, the ego can become the enemy. Something to be pushed out, got rid of. There’s another way.

Two men wrestling head to head.

Ego. Not the source of our self-confidence or self-esteem. In fact it diminishes our innate brilliance.

Ego. A collection of thoughts, some curated in your life, some inherited from past generations. A repetitive thought process which highlights only the ones which conform to the story we’ve been told and tell about ourselves. read more

Life is LITERALLY what you make it

It really seems like that person is irritating / lazy / slow at their work / makes lots of mistakes.

Or that this other person is amazing / so capable / always on it / full of great ideas.

It really seems like this situation is upsetting, or that one is fun.

That this one will make me cry, or that one will make me laugh out loud.

It seems like these are definites.

But when you see that our minds are entirely like projectors, that definite-ness shifts.

Nothing, ever, in our whole lives, has “made” us think or feel any of those things.

All those people and experiences are 100% neutral until we experience them through our thinking.  We are a projector, not a camera, and always have been.

Life is LITERALLY what we make it because we can and have always experienced life through our thoughts.

The thing that makes these experiences seem so convincingly true and makes them seem like they’re coming from outside of us is that we mostly agree about what’s upsetting or fun and what counts as irritating or amazing.  We get taught these rules from the moment we enter the world so our thinking around people and situations is mostly very similar.

I witnessed it the other day in the supermarket. Someone talking to a baby.. “oh that’s better, there’s that smile” because clearly the baby not smiling wasn’t good or acceptable. Or at least that’s the message the baby – and we all – received. The thought that the baby attached its identity to.

But then you meet someone who doesn’t see things the same way as you.

A common reaction to these people is to find a way to not be with them.  The greater the differences the more we’ll psychologically or intellectually fight or run away from them.  Our ego likes to be right and certain and these people who remove such certainty and who challenge our right-ness are a danger – or at least our ego thinks so.

I ran some happiness workshops recently and while most people were in agreement about the stress and pressures of diaries and conflicting priorities, about the difficult people and demanding bosses, the high expectations and reducing budgets…there was one person who was different.

“You all seem to be thinking about this stuff far too much” he said.

“This is just work.  You come in, do your best with the time you’ve got, you close things off well for the day, you go home and you do other things”.

Most of the group held onto their own views and saw his as strange, or dismissed this difference with “well you must have an easy job” or “you mustn’t have the pressures that I have in my job” or, I’ve no doubt some were thinking, “your work isn’t as important as mine”.

As far as I know this guy hadn’t had any special lessons in how to get the most from life but he really seemed to have a good appreciation for the nature of Thought, and that when you really see that, your thoughts naturally drop away more easily and bother you less.  When you see that the feelings thoughts generate don’t need solutions life gets easier, more obvious and more fun.

Notice for yourself. Next time you find yourself confronted by a different view, see what it’s like to notice that thought and not follow it or hold onto it as if it were the truth.