Why people disengage

First day in the new job….
I’ve never been responsible for so much before. I wonder what the new boss will be like.
Better make a good impression or they’ll think they’ve made the wrong hiring decision. Better make a good impression or they’ll think I’m no good at my job.
Must look like I know what I’m doing and what I’m talking about. I’m meant to be in charge of all this. Must look like I know what I’m doing and what I’m talking about. I’m meant to be in charge of this department.
OK, let’s do this. OK, let’s do this.
[Step into the office, shoulders back, head up, eye contact, confidently greeting people] [Steps into the office, looking around]

Is he here yet?

[Conversations in flow – listening deeply] [Conversations in flow – speaking passionately]
Wow I’m learning loads. Wow I know more than I realised, and he seems to be really listening. This is going well!
I have so many questions. These questions are really getting me thinking. I love this!
These people really know their stuff. I feel like I know my stuff even better than I did before this conversation!
They seem so engaged with what they’re doing and keen to change things for the better. I love this job and this new boss seems great!
I’d better show that I know stuff too [adds knowledgeable stuff to conversation]. And he has insights to add. That’s so useful to have a new perspective.
A few months later…..
[Amount of knowledgeable stuff added to conversations grows….] [Amount of knowledgeable stuff added to conversations is dropping, confidence is dropping]
Hey, I’m doing great!   Look at all this stuff I know now. I’m not sure I’m as good at this as I thought I was.
I can add so much to conversations. I don’t feel I can share anything he doesn’t already know.
I have so many ideas.  I’m thriving on sharing them with everyone! I don’t know where to take this next.  I can’t get a word in edgeways anyway.
6 months later….
I get all this now. I’ll wait to be told.
I’ve got a clear plan of what we need to do and how we’re going to get there. It’s always his opinion first so no point thinking first.

 

Why is this person saying this again? We went over this already? If he’d only listen he’d hear what I’m really saying. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t care what I have to say.
I asked for that last week. What are they doing? What’s the point, it won’t be exactly what he wants anyway.
I have this amazing idea – I’ll go and tell the people who need to make it happen. It must be done yesterday! Instructions received.   Robotic task-completion mode engaged.
Nobody has anything to say around here. …..
I wish people would just get on and do instead of seeking permission from me! Given he knows it all I need to check this first or it’ll be wrong.
Why does nobody interact in our meetings or bring ideas?

It’s like they’ve all just disengaged.

…..

We’re taught our whole lives – from school and through work – to show our brilliance.  Have the ideas.  Show you know things.  Demonstrate capability.  Do stuff and do it well and quickly.

All through school, university and work we’re rewarded and praised for knowing and doing. read more

Creating Coaching Cultures : #LearnConnectDo June 17

After a slight delay because of the fabulous #CIPDNAP17 last Friday and Saturday, here’s a peak at what we did at Learn > Connect > Do on Thursday 8th June.

We had a small and perfectly formed group on the day – a great mix of in-house and freelance people, and it was fantastic to have Olivia from Twenty:Twenty there – her first event since we began our partnership this year, and which resulted in some opportunities for Twenty:Twenty to get involved with delegates’ businesses, supporting disadvantaged young people into work 🙂 – hooray! read more

#cipdldshow – The Psychology of Coaching

My second session of the day is with Jeremy Snape from Sporting Edge @thesportingedge – ex England cricketer and now a sports psychologist – and holds the world record for the slowest bowler!

The CIPD use some of Jeremy’s models and approaches in their L&D qualification.

Jeremy’s big failure on the cricket pitch raised the question for him about what it is that means people thrive or fall in those situations when the pressure’s on.  This led him to study sports psychology at Loughborough Uni (great university! #biased!).  Reminds me of Kim Morgan’s piece for the #blogcarnival about the conditions needed for learning to occur.  In addition to psychology he’s spoken to neuroscientists to get a rounded view. read more

Expectations in a Box

Think of yourself at work and how it feels right now.

If you imagine you’re in a box at work, what would that box be like?

Are you in a roomy box with space to spread yourself out and change position?

Are you cramped in a box that you feel you could burst out of any minute?

Do you remember once feeling like you could burst out and now you feel like you’ve shrunk to fit inside? read more

Ignore Poor Performance at your Peril!

How often have you seen or heard this?

They’re just no good at their job, I keep having to pick up the slack?  I haven’t got time to do my own work because they’re incapable of doing their’s.  If only they could sort it out we’d all be better off.  I don’t even know why they’re still here – they don’t contribute anything. read more

“Feedback would happen all the time if…..” – #FeedbackCarnival

I started writing a post on feedback the other week because it’s something that comes back again and again as something we all struggle to do.  Even if we’re giving feedback about how great something’s been we can still feel awkward and not deliver it well – is that a British thing?  And then there’s the feedback when we’ve spotted something that, if changed, could help someone improve in some way.  The supposed ‘negative’ feedback. read more

#CIPD14 – Managing Strategic Change While Developing a Passionate HR Team

Graham Salisbury from ActionAid UK talking to us about this – what went well and what was a challenge.

Context of the org in the past – 200 staff with 60% turnover(!), inadequate HR governance, poor payroll controls, scrutiny from Border Agency over work permits, lack of leadership in HR (team of 5) and no time to do anything except transactional basics. They were hidden away at the back of the office and the team didn’t welcome visits unless appointments had been made! One of their big challenges has been lack of clarity over the focus of the charity and the direction they want to take. read more

#CIPD14 – my very first post!

In 2 weeks time I can’t believe the CIPD Annual Conference will be all over! But it’s going to be an amazing 2 days before we get to that point!

ACE jay mantri

—Street Wisdom stuff with David D’Souza
——-Innovation stuff in SMEs with Keith Jackson
———–Open space stuff on new tools and skills for learning with Perry Timms, Andy Lancaster, Paul Taylor and Niall Gavin
————–Advancing L&D for the future with Andrew Jacobs
—————–Behaviour stuff, leadership stuff, learning stuff….. read more