Today’s post is brought to you by Janice Keyes. Janice is a wonderful, dedicated HR professional and coach who’s bringing her self care expertise (learned through her own challenges with bringing balance to life!) to Learn > Connect > Do next Thursday (15th March). All profits from these events go to Twenty:Twenty and when you join us you
I’ve just finished reading my pre-release copy of the Rebel Playbook and wanted to pen a few words to share my thoughts so that you can choose if you’d like to read it when it’s released on 23rd Feb this year. You can pre-order it now though – here or (currently at a reduced price) here. First up, I want to say that I have no association to Debra or Glenn so this review isn’t a “helping mates out” thing. I bought a pre-order copy, as anyone could do if they spotted the tweets promoting it. Full disclosure though – they did send me some Haribo! Which swiftly went to the kids 🙂 And a second book by way of apology because my copy was delayed.
I’m seeing it everywhere I go.
No time to stop. No time to think. Just get on and do, do, do! And make sure others are doing the same.
In this place your brain is in action mode (distinct from reflection mode). You become more concerned about yourself than others. You lose perspective. It’s hard to see the bigger picture. You don’t think with full capacity because you’re verging on threat state and some parts of your brain aren’t deemed important enough for good blood flow when you’re in that place. More things become a competition than necessary. Frustrations are everywhere. And you’re more likely tip from the edge of “healthy pressure” into unhealthy stress and unhelpful reactions. When that happens you damage relationships, often with those you’re relying on to get your “doing” done.
I’m a recovering Type A, maybe with a bit of Type C chucked in!
Like alcoholics, I’m not sure my treatment will ever be entirely complete, but I’m on the right track.
I’ve always strived to achieve. To achieve with the hope of being ‘good enough’ for the parental figures in my life – be they at home or work. Having always found good grades fairly easy to come by at school I expected the trend to continue in work, sometimes sorely disappointed by the different type of race being run there with politics and relationships suddenly part of the game – not just working hard to deliver ‘the work’.
Session by Susan Kahn from The School of Life.
Susan says she constantly comes across the burden of self on others and the need for commitment and courage to look to yourself to uncover your strengths and weaknesses so that you can learn how to be your best to have your intended impact on others. This is especially true for leaders who have a proportionately greater impact through how they behave.
It’s not that unusual for people to cry when they work with me. Stopping the daily busy-ness and task-focused activities to pause, reflect and to think well can often bring things to the surface that people hadn’t noticed were there. Our always-on and busy lives lead us to sweep things under the carpet and carry on with an “it’s all fine” and “I’m fine” face on. Sometimes a client’s upset is “normal level” upset, sometimes it’s a symptom of medically-recognisable anxiety for which they need different help than I can provide. And when I say anxiety, don’t picture “jibbering mess, barely able to function”. Instead picture the reality which is genuinely what’s in front of me – capable, confident leaders who are very skilled at what they do and who are able to hide their anxious turmoil REALLY well.
A week ago on 9th March was the latest Learn > Connect > Do : an event held quarterly in Leicester which is for people professionals who care about making work better through doing great people stuff. These are also people who care about giving back while they learn and I’m delighted that we raised a fantastic £130 for Twenty:Twenty through ticket sales. This will enable a young person to get support with transport costs to get to their local centre to learn, or to go for a day out to celebrate their learning successes! And even more than that, with the professional backgrounds we have there are so many other ways delegates can get involved and support these young people into jobs they might never have considered an option before.
“I feel like a washing machine – everything’s churning round and yet it’s going nowhere.”
“I feel like I’m sinking in it all.”
“This isn’t sustainable.”
These things I’ve heard from leaders I’ve worked with. Men and women who feel swamped. It could be they’ve stepped up into an MD or CEO role where they’re suddenly in the most exposed position they’ve ever known, without development through their transition. Or budgets are cut in in the “reduce costs to maximise profits” race, removing more people from the structure than there are systems or processes to compensate for. Or businesses that have grown so fast, piling the work on those who are there, without stopping to review what’s actually needed to grow sustainably. And sometimes it’s not even any of that. It’s just that sometimes life throws a load of stuff at us all at once – from home, from work, from relationships… and it can be overwhelming.