Maybe frustration is prevalent for you just now, whether you’re isolated at home with ‘loved’ ones (they might not look so loved sometimes) or whether you’re in the frontline with customers or patients not keeping safe distances, high absence levels, supply chains slowed up or equipment not available. Have a read and see what occurs to you.
I’m writing today with an offer. An offer to shift your perspective around the human experience of this thing we call our life. On the other side of that shift is everything we’ve been looking for.
This image is a useful way to see where I’m inviting you to look. Most of us have grown up entirely focused in the content of experience — what’s going on in this apparent reality in front of us. Then some people might move into therapy, counselling and coaching which encourage the exploration of the programming — why is this happening, where did that belief come from. I’m pointing you to true nature as the source of all of life, the real ‘you’ behind the imagined ‘you’.
When you understand the system at work in human change you can make smarter choices about which coaches — or counsellors or therapists — you work with. In here I share the one source of change and what enables that so you can make smart choices.
I remember Julie Starr in my original coach training being brutally and beautifully honest:
When we’re lost in the story of what we think “busy” means we find ourselves in judgement of others or being judged. Frustration, upset, anger, suffering. When we see through it, we’re free to act from love.
Andrew told me he’d been working with a group in business recently about ‘the cult of busy’ and how they’d told him being busy was like a ‘badge of honour’. I burst out laughing! These words were literally the title of the just-recorded podcast. Word. For. Word!
We get lost in ideas that we fix as facts and truths. Resisting reality. It’s uncomfortable — thankfully — because then we have a chance to see through the illusion.
What are you fixing as true, definite or absolute?
Is it the ‘fact’ that person’s really annoying? Is it the ‘fact’ you’re no good at X, Y or Z? Is it the ‘fact’ that nobody ever gets work done to the standards you think they should?
Stories of awakening and enlightenment are getting further into the mainstream these days, which is great — more awakening beings on this planet will give us a much higher chance of not sending ourselves and the planet extinct — but there can also be misconceptions about what this all means. In this piece I share a big waking up moment I experienced, and the truth of what awakening and enlightenment really are.
First my story
I started working with Piers Thurston in August 2018. In our first session he blew my mind with what he shared, I left with the ground seeming shaky and uncertain — and I trusted him with where this was going.
Two conversations later, on the 23rd of August, I was taking a shower, running through what was happening that day, thinking about what time I’d be home that night & how it would be good for the kids because I was going to be home early, having been late the night before.
There was nothing fundamentally wrong with my life, in fact I thought it was good. I only started this exploration for the benefit of my clients. Little did I know what I would discover and uncover for myself.
In 2017 I read a book called Buddhism Plain and Simple and it had a profound impact on me. I saw that the essence of Buddhism that the book described was like coaching plus plus plus! Like coaching beliefs on steroids. I knew that, if leaders saw this for themselves, they and their teams would be off and running.
We’ve constructed new year’s eve on 31st December.
But what if you’re Jewish or Chinese or Pagan?
Then we’ve constructed the idea of new year as a time for reflection, for celebrating or mourning what’s passed, for looking ahead to what’s next.
What if we knew that we didn’t have to do any of it?
With changes afoot in my life I momentarily got caught up, believing the scary movie in the thought-reel of my mind. All perfectly designed to wake me up.
Things look uncertain.
I just had a meeting that’s confirmed a significant price of work with a client is coming to an end after Q1.
I left the meeting (later than planned) and got a flat tyre, currently waiting to be recovered.
Two kids are at home alone, first time on their own together (they’re known to argue!) for longer than intended.
How the intellect is taking us away from clarity, brilliance and the perfect next step.
My mum recently got back from a holiday in Nepal. She was telling me about the experience of crossing the road in Kathmandu. Two things struck her.
The first was that the drivers decide the lane system. With no markings on the road, no lane information signs, no overhead illumination in greens and reds about which lines are open and closed. The drivers just drive in a way that makes sense based on the volume of traffic. Six lanes heading into the city in the morning, just one heading out. The opposite in the evening. It just makes sense. And they don’t need a formal system to tell them to do this. It just works. They’re connected. They’re not in their heads.