With changes afoot in my life I momentarily got caught up, believing the scary movie in the thought-reel of my mind. All perfectly designed to wake me up.
Things look uncertain.
I just had a meeting that’s confirmed a significant price of work with a client is coming to an end after Q1.
I left the meeting (later than planned) and got a flat tyre, currently waiting to be recovered.
Two kids are at home alone, first time on their own together (they’re known to argue!) for longer than intended.
Thoughts flying to the future & to judgement – Will the kids be ok? What a bad parent not keeping an eye on the time in the meeting. What a bad driver allowing that vehicle to make you drive too near to the edge. What about your business now, how will you replace that work? Maybe you’re not doing the right work. Maybe you’re no good at what you do.
They’re so compelling these thoughts. They come with yukky feelings built-in. That makes them seem even more important to listen to.
But what we’ve never been told about them is that the yukky feelings aren’t here to tell us to believe the thoughts more, to beat ourselves up more, to worry more about the clients, or to put more intellectual muscle behind solving the problems.
All they’re telling us is that we’re off track, we’re out of the present moment, we’re caught in unhelpful imagination & we’re believing fear-based, lack-based judgement.
And that’s not where clarity is found.
These feelings are here to jolt us awake. To remind us that ok-ness isn’t to be found out there, and certainly not in imagined futures or imagined lack.
The feelings are here to remind us to come back to now, to centre, to be here.
Unlike what we’ve been told about the need to suppress or manually change yukky feelings, coming back to here happens naturally, and all the easier when we stay with what we’re experiencing, yukky feelings and all: now and now and now.
From here there’s a phone to call for backup with kids, there’s a pub to get a warm drink, there’s space to talk to a friend and share the story of what’s happened, there’s time to imagine a different future knowing it’s just imagination.
Knowing that the ‘here’s’ that are yet to come will take care of themselves, as they always have done, and all the easier when we’re present to them.
We are perfectly designed to handle it all. Test it. See it for yourself. And lean in.
With love, Helen